The Candy Cane Conundrum
by ilovetvalot
Summary: It's a JJ/Hotch Christmas! Her addiction was going to kill him...


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**_A special note to my readers...as Christmas draws nearer, so does my husband's return from the war zone in Afghanistan. This said, posts will be slowing DRAMATICALLY after the holiday. Bear with me. Slower updates are expected to last approximately a month. But, real life and a family reconnection will take precedence. I'm sure you all understand. But, take heart, a happy hubby makes an energetic writer._**

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_**Because I don't say it often enough, nothing would happen in these stories without my wonderful co-author and friend, tonnie2001969. Too often, the author name ilovetvalot is mistaken for just one person. There are two of us. Tonnie2001969 collaborates on every single one of these stories and I can't say ENOUGH wonderful things about this woman!**_

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**The Candy Cane Conundrum**

It was official, Aaron Hotchner thought grimly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

He hated Christmas.

After all, it was the same thing every year. The crowds...the chaos...and those damned candy canes.

Watching the pink tip of her tongue trace the tip of the striped candy stick, he bit back a groan as he tried to draw his eyes away from her mouth. Forcing his eyes back to the file spread out before him on the round table, he ordered himself to relax.

Eleven months out of the year, he could control his body's reactions to the beautiful woman sitting across from him. He'd ignore them, pretend they didn't exist, and go about the business of being her boss.

Right up until December 1st.

That's when the fucking Christmas trees were unpacked from their storage boxes and decorated for the upcoming holiday. Festooned with colorful bulbs, shiny tinsel and Christmas lights, those trees and those malicious tree huggers who just had to decorate them couldn't leave well enough alone.

No, instead the BAU floor Christmas committee had to make THEIR trees unique, adding a personal touch that most of the employees adored.

They added cellophane candy canes to the fake fir, obviously intent on making his life a holiday hell.

And those bastards replenished the fucking supply every damn day until Christmas.

Couple that with the small, but important fact that peppermint was Jennifer Jareau's favorite candy, and anyone could do the math.

Watching as the tip of her cane disappeared between her lips again, he tried to block out the image of her cheeks hollowing as the peppermint slid deeper between her lips. Of course, the small moan of pleasure escaping as her mouth closed around her peppermint treat did nothing to help his growing erection beneath the table.

Why did God loathe him so, Aaron asked himself desperately as his eyes watched her delicate hand slide the candy in and out of her mouth. He was a good Christian, wasn't he? He tried to follow all the Commandments as best he could...he tithed the requisite ten percent from every check, on the gross, mind you!...he even helped little old women to their cars on Sunday!

But yet, every year, God tempted him to near madness with JJ's candy cane addiction.

And it only grew worse every year.

It was barely halfway through December and his body had already reached the trifecta.

He was officially hot, hard and as horny as hell. It was no wonder at all that the Almighty had taken a prominent dislike to him. He was obviously bound for the down ramp into eternity and God knew it.

Rubbing his hand over his jaw as he propped his elbow on the table, Aaron sternly lectured himself on the propriety required of a man holding his esteemed position. She was his employee. She was a team member. Hell, she was one of his closest friends. One should not have such lascivious thoughts about a woman who held those three positions.

And watching as the slowly slimming candy once again disappeared between her luscious red lips, he quickly found himself thinking of other positions that would be far more enjoyable and beneficial for all involved. And when a certain part of his anatomy twitched in agreement, he knew, at that exact moment, that he was truly doomed forever.

Stop it, he ordered himself as he drew in a deep breath. Think of other things. Like icebergs. The Titanic. Erin Strauss.

Well, that did it, he thought grimly as he felt his body start to deflate ever so slightly. He must remember to send the Wicked Witch of the West a Christmas gift while she was completing her twenty-eight days in confinement.

Letting out a sigh as he forced himself to once again look at the file in front of him, he studiously avoided looking across the table again, knowing that temptation was far more than he could handle at that moment.

But it was obvious that temptation, the feckless demon that it was, had other ideas for him. A minute later, he heard the sound of cellophane rattling, his concentration suddenly shot all to hell. Glancing up, Aaron found himself face to face with the woman that had just about sent him into an early grave. And he'd be damned if she didn't have what appeared to be a brand new candy cane in her fingers.

"Where the hell did you get another one?" he asked, shocked when he realized he'd spoken aloud.

Eyes glued to her face as she offered the cane a long slow lick, Hotch gulped when her low moan filled the room. Jesus, had somebody cranked up the heat in here? He hadn't been this hot since he'd sat in eleventh grade biology and watched Sarah Beth Connor blow out the flame on the Bunsen burner!

"The staff put out new canes today," JJ replied without looking up from her own file, her pen busily making a note in the margin. "Flavored ones. And this one is blueberry. My favorite," she said distractedly, just before her full lips surrounded the candy and pulled it deeply into her mouth. "I can't get enough of them."

Feeling his erection swell once more, throbbing beneath the scarred wooden table, Aaron wondered if there was a graceful way out of this situation that would allow his dignity to remain intact. He was a professional, wasn't he? Her boss? Her friend? Thankfully, the woman in front of him seemed blissfully unaware of his burgeoning problem threatening to overwhelm him at any second.

But as sure as Santa wore a jolly red suit, he was heartbeats away from exploding in his pants like a teenager. And how the hell would he explain THAT? Especially if she kept sliding and swirling that cane quickly in and out of her lips.

"Hotch?" JJ asked, finally looking up at the older man's tense face. "Hotch?" she called again, licking her sugar coated lips as she pulled the stick out of her mouth.

Finally registering that she was calling his name when she released the candy from her mouth, Aaron blinked. "Yeah?" he said hoarsely, his cheeks burning as he realized that the jig might finally be up.

"You okay?" she questioned worriedly. "You're looking flushed," she stated with a frown. "And you're sweating."

"F-fine," Aaron replied tersely. Glancing at his watch, he swallowed. "Weren't you meeting Will and Henry for lunch, JJ?" he asked as she shoved her cursed candy cane between her lips again.

"Hmmm?" she hummed around the treat as her eyes dropped back to the file.

Jaw dropping, Aaron barely suppressed a sound of defeat as she began to twist the stick between her lips again. Hearing a loud cough from the doorway beyond JJ, Aaron looked toward the sound, relieved to find his best friend standing over the threshold, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"Jen," David Rossi called jovially. "Will and Henry just buzzed up here. They're waiting for you in the lobby," he announced.

Looking over her shoulder, candy cane dangling limply between her lips, JJ's eyes widened. "Already?" she asked, quickly pulling the candy from her lips and rising.

"Mmm hmm." Dave nodded, leaning in the doorway. "It's lunch time. C'mon, Aaron," he invited with a smirk, knowing his friend's current dilemma (after all, he'd experienced it yesterday himself when he'd been forced to ride along with JJ during a custodial interview). "Let's go grab some grub," he invited with a smirk as JJ rose from her chair, grabbing her coat from the seat beside her.

Glaring at Dave, Aaron shook his head. "Not hungry," Aaron returned in a clipped voice.

"Really?" JJ frowned.

Averting his gaze, Aaron stared at his open file. "Really."

"Huh," she grunted, slipping on her coat. "The way he's been eyeing my candy canes, I would have said he was starving." She shrugged with a look at Dave. "See you later, guys." She smiled before hurrying past an amused Dave.

Waiting until the door closed, Dave turned to Aaron, his lips twitching.

"Not a word," Hotch growled without looking up at the other man. Staring at his crotch, he released a relieved breath as the evidence of his earlier problem subsided.

"What would I say?" Dave joked as the younger man rose.

Walking past Dave, Aaron Hotchner opened the door to the war room and walked directly to the infernal tree. Jerking the candy canes off the tree with precise movements, he could hear Rossi's amused laughter behind him.

"Think that'll solve the problem?" Dave asked casually as Hotch shoved the offending canes in his pocket.

"For today," Hotch replied succinctly, glaring at the now cane-less tree.

"And tomorrow?" Dave snorted.

"I'm having the tree removed and replaced with an igloo. Complete with blocks of ice and snow filled sculptures," the Unit Chief declared darkly, stomping toward the elevators.

Chuckling, Dave waited until they were inside the elevator before he replied drily, "Well, you do know what happens when ice starts to melt, don't you, Aaron? You get icicles."

Rolling his eyes, Aaron pressed the button for the first floor. "And your point is?"

"I think I heard JJ telling Emily all about her winters in Pennsylvania. Seems she just loved to break off icicles from the eaves of the house," Dave said conversationally, leaning back against the elevator wall. "And suck them until they just melted in her mouth. She just loved the way they felt on her tongue."

Closing his eyes as he pressed his palm against the interior railing, Aaron Hotchner attempted to ignore the knowing chuckles of his teammate as he tried to once again control the raging hormones that were threatening to send him to an early grave. But the mental pictures that had taken up residence in his mind were giving his body on the fuel it needed.

JJ. Christmas. Candy canes. Icicles. Melting. And melting. And melting.

And as the elevator descended floor by floor, Aaron realized that he was indeed on his way to hell. And Jennifer Jareau was his own personal Christmas demon.

**Finis**


End file.
